Crazy scene

Ladies, if a man hits you...i mean legitimately, not a push or a shake, cut his motherfucking dick off! Cosmic retribution is real, just watch Dexter

She will

The first one that I think of in the morning is an understatement, its a non stop obsession.....old feelings don't die hard especially when those feelings are for u ..... Years go by and nothings changed , u are perfect for me, emotionally and physically, and the girl with no smell that plays radiohead on the piano still holding my hand tight as we walk off the edge of this angsty emo world :-)

Socially awkward

I love facebook for one reason. Fake cheating chatting with my married friends, only those I've had past relations with of course, a. It has no merit beyond some random hometown encounter on christmas eve at a bar, drunk on old style and find wistful memories and b. It gets me through the monotonous work day
Amen

I'm about whatever

I've been hearing a new buzz word in hollywood, man child, this is someone in their late twenties or early thirties with no direction, love, or financial ambition doing the same gay shit he was doing at seventeen, someone  I highly respect once told me when you are always joking you're passively being honest, and I semi agree with the fact that I have a semi

afi is blanking awesome

man i wanna blank the blank out of davey havocs blank

heartbreaking work of staggering drunkeness

i wrote this song after being really really depressed about my situation with life and love...i was between girlfriends at the time and just decided that i wanted to write some cut yo wrist type of rap.i love this song even though its so emo and melodramatic, but thats how i get sometimes. people (including my girlfriend) say, for as much as i make fun of emo-ness and gay shit, i sure am into alot of emo and gay shit, big bright eyes and justin timberlake fan...love the movies 500 days of summer and bring it on...when my hair is long i do the bieber combover, and i love purchasing clothes from express...its just my nature. all my rap songs have positive messages regarding ruining your life with drugs and killing yourself. so here is my homage to just that.

Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Drunkeness by 20ccs

seriously?

the next woman of my past that marries some weird loooking fag gets stalked. this shit is getting outta control and i'm not gonna take it. there is one i can fux with, but every other one of yas.....shit, you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are because you got some esteem issues falling that low into the cracks. damn. not like i'm a free man or anything, like i'm a hit at the first chance i get, but......see i date a 21 year old female, and as a 27 year old man this is kinda weird. because she is in that free bird stage..travel the world and party it up, while i'm in the withering stage, where i get a warm joyful feeling when i get off work and know that comfy pj's and netflix instant are at home waiting for me. now my gf knows this and loves vegetating as well but i feel like i'm holding her back from her dreams and it sucks. i hate being single, but to think that i'm ruining a life is a bigger hate. see, i'm not the ideal candidate for parternership, for one, i already have a 9 year old child. so my location is going to have to be southwestern ohio for a long time. so my options are limited to the classy townies of the dayton/cincinnati area. less cincy more dayton, cause girls my age in cincy are doing thangs, and plan on leaving this awful midwest fuck hole....but not me..i made a promise to my baby mama that i'm going to make things right. i got a job, i have potential (no, not that fake potential that they tell a young buck he has from 1st grade detention and on) but real money making potential. and i'm cool with that, but i feel like my personality is very strong,and when i do express my own emotions i do it with such passion that no girl would leave me to pursue her dreams and that sucks, or maybe they will, and i will suffice to jacking off with the shower running while pretending that i'm taking a shit...meh...it accounts for 95% of my ejaculations already, aint nothing really changing cept the number after the jordans on my kicks.....end scene

s*ck it

1. i feel your eyes on me even though your not around (that shit sounds creepy as fuck) i wonder if rape victims talk this way during group therapy.

2.we were at the bar, Neons, in Cincinnati, and they have an outdoor area where you can play bocce ball, bring your dog, and smoke cigarettes. we met this half pit half sharpei doggy name Mia. the owners copped her from a meth head who said they were getting rid of her cause they couldn't get her to fight. anyway, the dogs owner, named Forrest, is moving to Thailand in July and needs to find a good home for her. so i decided that i will be that guy. so we're gonna have another puppy in the house! yah!

3. my dude Cry Baby Genius just came on the I Tunes shuffle. its a song called posse cut, i think this is the one where he mentions us....i don't remember tho

4. i was forced to write this blog, but i need to do this more than once every 10 months...so i'm glad for the inspiration

ooooh baby when you cry, your face is momentary

1. in a house with a dog and a cat you have to be strategic with your catfood bowl placement. because lamont (dog) loves cat food, and he'll eat an entire bag if given the chance. so for our dear wendy's sake we have to put the cat food up high on a counter. but lamont has grown keen to this and figured out a way to fucking jump on top of the counter and still eat all of wendys food. so i now have to put her food in my room. this involves her getting fed once a day and sometimes involves her getting shut into my room. wendy has now taken to shitting and pissing in the corner of my room when she is let inside to eat her food. this is frustrating for a few reasons.....lamont already has taken over the basement as his new favorite place to shit and piss 1 to 2 times a day. so now our entire house has become a literal animal shithouse. fuck. i need a new house. one where the cat and dog are in separate areas of the house, completely cut off from each other. where wendy can go outside and roam free like the shit beast that she is.

2.our friend adam from detroit has been staying with us for the past week. adam is a gutter punk. this means he doesn't have a job, so to make money when he travels like a bum, he takes his guitar to high traffic areas and plays for tips. enough to get him a forty, rolling tobacco, and food for his doggie sheba who comes with him everywhere. i've always been jealous of adam and his no job having ass. since i've known him he's never had a job for more than a month yet he still ends up eating and drinking everyday. i guess when youre a gutter punk hobo, you can scrape by on other people...but how will this translate into our 4os? if the world is ending anyway i guess it doesn't matter too much, but what if we survive? i guess i'll be the proverbial "man" for now. save my partying for when im rich chillin in a benzo.

3. i love the beginning of Drake's song Best I Ever Had...he says "gotta dedicate this one to someone special (pause) you know who you are" ambiguity is crucial in dedications. so this one goes out to someone really effin special...you know who you are...haha

water blogging worked in guantanamo bay

1. new job= new house (backyard for Lamont, extra bedroom for annette), 2012 cadillac cts-v coupe (yeah the pimping one) and finally debt free (past debts, the debts on the house and car are not counted)

2.i really wrote this because the recent influx of the past into my life. upon reflection with a certain individual...finding past people via facebook is great, it makes high school reunions meaningless, it allows you to quietly stalk people from past instances and really dig into who they appear to be...now when it sucks....when you actually see these people again! now the katie challmers' of this world are the exception, no matter how fucking interesting your life is, i don't give a fuck about your over privileged ass, but everyone else man, you start asking what they're doing, job, married, kids. blah blah blah neither of you care that much, it gets kinda awkward, and you go back to your post human devices and quietly stalk from afar. this is it, this is all you get. this is why friends get recycled so much in my life, i can't stand people for very long or they can't stand me for very long. its evolution though, i accept it. but there are those people, maybe sexual encounters help the prolonged interest, maybe its the exceptional conversational skills..who knows, but there are those certain people you can pick up with no matter what. no matter how long its been, no matter where, no matter how short, because the comfort is there where with others its not, except for katie challmers' even though you made out with me at the Green Top bar and can go on and on for hours about quirky shit, i still don't like you...and for those people i salute you. you have given me a reason to continue my social network stalking, and making it easier to connect with you some time, some where, some how....

3.disclaimer: i have no association with the above picture. i just felt like posting the best juggalo picture i had on my computer. i hate icp, but man i love their marketing. just need to find my own gay niche to rap into. then i'll be rich. but what a smart target market. icp fans are poor white kids, with no money, therefore no internet, no kazaa, no nothing that ruined the sales for musicians. good stuff from that aspect.

4. i want to fuck you

Reading the past

I hate reading blogs from the past, even though I secretly love it the wistful teary eyed kindergarten baby that comes  out in me...what if this and what if that blah blah blah, but life moves on and the stupid choices were made and there aint no turning back. How many times have I thought about marriage? Seriously if I was married right now id be dead in a  gutter or in jail for domestic assault, I'm so bad with women because I am attracted to so many. How can I realize when I have someone good in my life when the primal monkey in me shows another banana tree? I am glad I have a daughter whom I am no longer involved with the mother because now I feel that forever freedom like if I don't get married or cheat on every girl I meet from here on out, breaking innocent hearts squandering dreams  I will always have my beautiful baby girl to fall back on, and eat ice cream with, and buy zantac at midnight for. Which is terrible but true, so without her I would reconsider the others I'm hurting but I'm so effed in the head that I probably will never change, today marks the would be 27th birthday of my friend mick rylander who died in a horrific car accident eleven years ago, I'm feeling bitter/better/saddened and reading s's blogs and remembering the time she made me walk home from that ann arbor brewery after finally confronting the cheating situation of the previous year and how on my walk home I decided I only wanted to write raps about how much I hated myself for hurting her and how I wanted to marry her or kill myself or overdose or do something selfishly to mask my own embarassment for ruining something great, but I also remember when she quit heroin, got pregnant and married and had a beautiful baby girl with a man that I think is ten times the person I am and a million times the person that punk motherfucker lyman was, and I'm happy that fate worked out well, I have my own demons to face and the fact that she still talks to me is a blessing from allah, peace be upon him. Idk where I'm going on this one just a rambling man with a bukowski libido, miss u mick